Deck the therapist.

So my last physical therapy update I was shrugged off and dismissed right?

Well I had to move an appointment because my big woke me up with vomit. JOY.

Let me set the stage. Husband had gone to work super early, taken Little to daycare, and Big had climbed into bed with me. Big asked Husband for some milk, Husband got said milk and James drank it. Sometime early in the morning Big starts coughing (he's had that cough for a while) and I'm all "its ok, go back to sleep" when he's all "no mommy, I'm puking" and then he vomits all over me, the bed, the sheets, the comforter, blankets, etc.

G-R-E-A-T morning.

So I call the PT office to move everything since I don't know if it was a bug, the milk, or he stuck his finger down there or anything. Don't worry, Big is ok! But I got to see a different PT for my 3rd visit. And he had me do the clam-shells and these other things but this time, he had me use weight (or resistance) And I felt fine during. But after, when I went to take James to the park I started to feel awful. And that started me being in significant pain, because you see, after my previous appointment I was in some pain- but it was a better average pain not a bunch of spiking overwhelming sudden type pain (if that makes sense? I'm not always sure).

Please note that all these sessions are done in one room- so while they are working on me, they are also doing others.

Later that week I tell the Blonde One that hey, this is hurting pretty bad- but only after she just set me on my routine while she attended to another girl and gossiped about true detective for about half of the session time. Well Blonde One reiterates that the pain is normal, shes not sure what to do for me but just keep going. So I'm left with nothing.

And then this guy (he's not a PT but an employee doing eval's for companies) tells this story about the bumble bee. I'm not sure of its origins but it goes something like this:

A professor asks his students for the final exam to explain how bumble bee's fly using formulas (this is some sort of specific class Physics? Aerodynamics?) So the end of the semester comes and nobody can explain it and the professor basically says "because it (the bee) knows it can"

Of course this guy tells it so much better than my measly little blip- but it related to this girl (I'll call her true blood girl) and he basically said when she first came in she lacked confidence, and now that she had it she was doing so much better)

Well after that little heartfelt moment she comes over to me and basically we are talking about the walking she wants me to do- and I was all well it hurts after so many feet. She turned to me and said, well you heard that story- you cant walk a mile at 2-blank because you lack confidence. there is no good reason for you to  not be able to walk a mile. I'm (she said 30 something- so she's a blonde single crazy cat lady- haha) and blah blah blah.

I don't even think I can tell you how much I hated her.

I'm in my mid 20's and went from a lifestyle of hiking with my husband and kids, I would stand for 10-12 hours straight. I could hold my infant son, I could kick a ball, I could run, I could walk, I could climb, I could sit in an office chair and play a video game. I could do my fucking dishes (Seriously, do you know how many dishes a family of 4 produces??)

I. Do. Not. Lack. Confidence.

I carried two kids to term, and gave birth with out medication while working 50 hours a week. I endured pitocin with no painkillers, I endured threats of demotion while pregnant, I endured tears to my ligaments and groin with mt first pregnancy because I was trying to measure up. I endured constant down talk from customers, invasive personal questions from strangers. I have done things I dont even think 30 year old physical therapist barbie could imagine.

I do not, in any way, lack confidence.

I now know I lacked a competent physical therapist.

I go to the park as ordered to walk the loop with my Big.