Church Woes

Church.

If you cant tell by the weekly posts about it its a big part of my life.

Today I did ok. I'm not going to lie- emotionally it was harder than physically. Don't take this as my pain wasn't bad- but I would endure my entire spine shattering for my children. And when they are distressed- it distresses me. And pain cant take away from that distress.

This is why my family knows that it is important to stay one step ahead of me- because if they don't I will give up my "spoons" for my kids with out thinking. Its intuition. I try so hard to hold back- but it truly is hard. I literally need someone to say "Stop, I got this" or I'm going to do it.

For some reason my Big has been having a BIG problem being left at Sunday School. Like total freak out, needs his blankie type of problem. I have no idea what is causing it. I asked the teachers and they said they cant think of anything other than maybe having to switch around rooms because of staff shortages could be screwing up my Bigs routines.