What Did I Miss Today

What did I miss today? 

Today I missed shoveling sand into trucks with spoons. Fights over spoons. Giggles and fun. A sun burn, gnats in my eyes. A hug or two! I missed a run into the woods, pushing my child in a car. Teaching a child to Pedal a bike. I missed the afternoon. 

I threatened my 3 year old with a nap if he did not let me rest. I drank 3 cups of cold coffee while I sat in a vegetative state. I lied to my child to get him to go with memaw. I ate out again so we didn't have to cook, and there was no extra wash. 

I got 10 min in at the park today. I stood so icy pushing my little. Each push was a knife in my back- he smiled wide as he flew through the air. Finally I told my husband I had enough and the children fell into tantrums because I couldn't be there. 

Bedtime was late again. I couldn't manage a hug or kiss until we were in stall tactic mode. I was to lethargic from the drugs I take. My youngest put down my his grandmother. My oldest still in his clothes from the day. I wanted them in pj's- I wanted it all just so. But I couldn't be there and nobody else worried about their clothes. 

I called my doctor today- begging for more relief. I'm down to my last few- what is meant for temporary relief. 

I missed so much today. We are all a day older now. It's a day I can't get back. Smiles given to someone else. Hugs donated elsewhere.